Surfing Vancouver Island  

Foondroppings 20  


Sat, 14 Aug 1999

Did you ever wake up one crystal clear morning, look out the window and know it was going to be one of those days. The sun is just peaking up, a brisk offshore breeze is blowing through the trees and the air is sweet, full of the scent of morning glories. It's going to be a great day at the beach. Your favorite website said so the night before and you went to bed pondering whether to cut work or not. In the interest of being responsible you check your office phone mail and low and behold, there's a message from your boss.

It seems that the project you were working on has finally gone into production. The bean counters have declared it a huge success and it is sure to make the company a fortune. Your boss is so grateful he tells you to take the week off and have a good time. He claims he shouldn't be telling you this but you name has been put before the Board of Directors in nomination for a Vice Presidents position. Starting nut is $250,000, with annual stock options that will make you a millionaire in 2 years.

You leap out of bed and head for the beach. On the way you stop for a cup of coffee and drive up to the drive in window of "Brew Thru and Coffee Too." Ouila!!! You just happen to be the 100,000th customer and the manager comes out to hand deliver your order and a certificate saying you get free eats and beverages for a year. On top of that, the coffee is great and the place just started carrying Krispy Kreme donuts.

You arrive at your favorite point break and pull right into the first parking slot. You think the surf must suck, because there's no one there. It looks flat until a tasty school of waves comes swimming into the lineup, breaking ever so perfectly with hollow headhigh precision. The waves are perfect for performance type surfing, but mistakenly you just brought your longboard. You notice a fin sticking out of the trash dumpster where someone has obviously left a broken shortboard. You yank it out to find it's not broken. In fact it's a brand new thruster perfect for the schwackin' conditions unfolding in the water.

You wax the new board noting the finish is superbly done and wonder why your initials are stenciled on the deck? The new leash fits you perfectly and when you launch yourself into the shorebreak, the board floats you like a barge and paddles like the wind. A completely waveless lull allows you to get outside dry headed, barely breathing hard. The water is crystal clear, you can see the bottom which is 10 feet below you.

Another set approaches and you wait for the best one. Not sure of your lineup, you paddle diagonally across the peak toward the pit and stand up in one fluid motion already jamming a spray spewing curtain, the result of the round house turn that sets you back across the peak racing the lip to what appears to be an endless razor thin and ruler straight wall. The board is lightning fast and so sensitive it seems to react just to your thoughts. The first section is a speedy dumping machine that has you tucking into the slot with barely 3 feet of clearance over your head. The acceleration of the section blows you out of the collapsing tube, spray dripping off your face, but already your psychic surfboard is angling up to smash the lip broadside as the momentum carries you into the air for just a fraction of a second before you head straight down the face setting up for a huge carving bottom turn that snaps you right back out on the wall. Five times you repeat this activity, each time the wave embraces your skill and honors your waveriding chops.

After an entire day of similar type waves, you rack the new board on your car and head home. The freeway is empty. At dusk you pull into your driveway and walk up to the door which opens suddenly. Standing there is your beautiful wife of 5 years. She is dressed in simply the sexiest lingerie you've ever seen. Her emerald green eyes sparkle with lust and the look on her face is one you've never seen full of animal desire you pop a woody immediately. In the next 5 hours she takes you to dimensions of hot monkey love that you've never experienced. She is insatiable, you are omnipotent. Beneath the sheets your bodies merge in an incredible war to destroy each other with sexual desire. She wins. Gratefully you surrender.

You drift off to the soundest sleep you have ever experienced, dreaming dreams that are remarkably just like the day you just had.

Didja ever do this?

Nah...... me neither. But I'm always hopeful. :^)


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